29.10.2013

又到了心情记载的时间..

这个月过得不错，很忙很充实，忙得都有点忘了时间... 快乐，增加了 ^^ 也有点被虐性的被工作，课业及一些怪因素折磨..

我渐渐也接受了自己和别人不一样的怪想法，也渐渐无视那些被我的想法吓倒或者嗤之以鼻的人...

下雨的季节到了，时常半夜里都伴随着雨声入眠，很幸福。看了方文山的电影，喜欢它的情节，喜欢他的文艺，更喜欢它带来那平静又感动的爱情... 很多人给了负面的评价，但我很喜欢很喜欢!

月中时，同事把我欺负得很惨，我以为我会哭的，我以为我会和朋友哭诉的，但..我没有... 我自己也被吓到了，我大概只用了少过一小时就把这事给消化掉了，依然和所有人开心地笑着，依然笑着回家，睡午觉... 并没有假笑，是真的笑着，不知道这是不是长大?

还记得去年也是这样被欺负，那时，回家哭惨了，而且还是属于有男友等于没男友的阶段，回家想告诉他我的事，他给我冷淡的语气，我反而还得陪着笑脸的和他说笑，硬着头皮的和他聊天，把自己的哽咽都吞进肚里。到了终于很开心的和他见面时，居然还给我提分手... 去年的九月和十月还真是狼狈 ^^ 应该每天都是哭着做事，哭着运动，哭着看戏，哭着睡着，哭着醒来的吧~ 把所有这些年的眼泪都用完 ^^

那个人该庆幸还是觉得倒霉呢？随他吧~ 我不会再这么傻了，很多事我已经训练的不会重来了...

单身也太好了,多的是自己的时间! 多的是与我亲亲小狗相处的时间，多的是朋友请的晚餐，多的是去不完的电影邀约... 男的朋友对我的关心和疼爱，比男友更好；女朋友对我的宠溺，男友又给不到.. 高声欢呼单身万岁!!!

十一月更忙了!! 我的老一岁生日，我亲爱的同居关系结婚，出差!!! 还有无数的课要上，和无数的地方要去, 最最重要的是有无数的人欠我的餐!!! I am so gonna conquer u NOVEMBER!

语毕，感谢您读完我的废话

30.09.2013

人生的转折点，心情很是郁闷... 才发现我根本就不想长大，才发现我依旧躲在父母的羽翼下，才发现我吃不了苦... 感谢父母的疼爱，让我在家一直是个好吃懒做的家伙，越长大就越不需要被责骂，感谢溺爱我的哥嫂还有对我又恨又爱的侄女侄子们，我很幸福呢!

又要开始工作了，不是怕，而是懒! 我那在工作上事事要求完美的烂性格，会把我给累死... 从来没怀疑过我自己的能力，不是能不能的问题，而是要不要... 对自己，我就是嚣张得起来.. 呵呵

这几天我光想就觉得累，老妈说太压力就别做了，但... 妈，我还没开始呢!

他们也清楚我的脾性，在家说累，工作起来就不累了.. 我是只牛吧...

这几天，情绪低落，说哭就哭，不会是更年期到了吧？

老爸老妈和朋友全都很担心我的身体还有... 我的感情.. 到底要说几遍我已经放下啦?! 只是我也收敛了，理智了，想要一段好好的，不分手的恋情而已.. 没遇到, 不是我的错吧.. 喜欢的，是有啦... 还没确定那是不是爱，怎么答应啊？也没时间，我忙工作和课本都快死了，还要我去照顾一个人的情绪，除非我疯了!  或者找一个照顾我情绪的吧？但还要陪他看戏吃饭，算了，饶了我吧，我一个人很好!

身体嘛.. 又弱了... 去年洗胃加失恋的发疯自残，还有前年的小手术，我的药是一年比一年多，每天都得靠这些药来活着，还有谁敢要我？虽然不致命，但我的情况是一年比一年严重，脸色也越来越苍白... 长命百岁好像离我有点远，所以我要活的出色! 享受生活!

下雨天最开心了，我会好好的

I didn't mean to post the third post but I think I have to... Today is really my LUCKIEST day! Despite of those "good" things that happened at noon... My Starbucks tumbler that I bought back from Paris year ago fell and it's broken now.. AND I tried to update my iOS 7 but ended up I lost everything I have backed up.. I got a NEW iPhone 4S! Yeah! What a GREAT day!

19.09.2013

我很喜欢听歌和看书，想要从歌词里及书本里明白许多老师来不及教的道理，但我往往只把它记得几分钟，然后就彻底把它放在记忆深处...hmmm..是个坏习惯呀

一直想要把我去旅行的点点滴滴记录在这里，懒惰总战胜决心，害得我也渐渐想不起来那几天发生了什么事...

人们老说，时间是个勤劳但不体贴的先生，他很用力地向前跑，但从来不会等等远远在他后面，希望他等等自己的我们... 但他也是一个温柔的老公，他只把开心的回忆留给你，伤心的，他会设法带走...

一年前我以为再也不会愈合的伤口，现在看起来，其实已经结痂的不错了，我想再过一些日子，应该会连疤痕也看不见吧... 我已经想不起来，我们分手那天说了什么，做了什么... 冷战的那一个月是怎么度过的... 我只记得，大概是这个时候吧，那是我们最后一次抱在一起，一起笑，一起哭，一起把初恋红豆冰看完... 那时的心情.. 是痛吗？不记得了...

和朋友说起你时，也不会露出无奈或麻木的表情了，是笑着的... 笑着说着我们的远距离，笑着说着我们的傻事，笑着说着我们的甜言蜜语，笑着说着我们给彼此的礼物，笑着说着我们一起的朋友，笑着说着我们曾经想一起去的地方，也笑着说着我们那唯一一次的旅行...

时间还是拉了我一把，虽然这一次久了些，但至少它还是没放弃的救了我一回.. 它让我明白，没有人缺了谁就活不了的，他没有我可以活得很好，我也拥有同等的能力 =) 调整了心理，敞开了胸怀，迈开了脚步，扬起了那释怀的微笑，出发! 网上看到了一个很有意思的句子:"nobody can go back to start a new beginning but anyone can makes a new start today and change the ending!" 很喜欢呢.. 希望可以牢牢地把它记住 =)

爱情，我是真的却步了.. 很多时候我知道只要我主动一点，或者根本只要我点一个头，我就可以直接躺进一个温暖的怀抱里，但我的理智还是把冲动的情感给压回去，甘愿抱着我的被单，卷着身子，发抖着入睡... 不是还爱着他，只是我不想再把爱情想象得太美好，接受那来得太快的幸福而让自己在一次的被打回原形，因为我知道我大了，复原能力真的没有以前胡来时得快，需要很多我最不想浪费的时间来疗伤，筑起的心墙也需要时间慢慢建一座窗啊...

还有还有，最近拌嘴的日子还真是谐意啊!第一次这么享受拌嘴呢，谢谢呀，某人!

Happy Mooncakes Festival

Yea! Great Mooncakes Festival indeed.. I was supposed to go to my grandma's area to celebrate this day, but, me and my lovely nieces both are having food poisoning.. Great huh..

There are something greater LOL I received a summon today and.. my dental just put rubber bans in my mouth that makes me don't feel like eating because it is super duper uncomfortable..

Great Festival huh ^^ Enjoy my day with braces wide smile =)

One Direction - Tell Me A Lie (lyrics+pictures)

17.07.2013

Finally! My hectic days are over! It's time for me to have REAL fun! Actually, my holidays started week ago but to me, it seems like it has been few months. I got no idea why I'm feeling this way, probably because too much outings nowadays. Non-stop outings since Wednesday night. Sometime I was thinking.. maybe I just want to cover back the fun part that I lost for previous months. Yea right.. Playful!

It's been 9 months. Nah, it's more than that. I'm thinking when is the day that I could lose counting. I don't know what I want and I don't know what I need. No ones could help, I know only me that can figure it out myself. Love isn't my thing maybe. I feel lonely but ironically I'm enjoying it. I know I am hiding in a place that I built up myself to block everything that could really hurt the deep part of me. It's not a good thing but is not that bad isn't it? I feel safe when I'm in there. Just don't have to care whatever shits that happened.

Future? Career? Nah. Wait for my result in September. I don't want to do anything during this period. My dad is kind enough to feed me I guess ^^ Travelling trips adventure drink swim! Anything! I want to enjoy it to the max and back to the reality in September. If pass, yea, chamber and here comes my bright future; fail? It's ok, "everything has their first time" -- Dato Mokhtar Hashim's case. LOL Retake and see ya in UM hall next year.

Kinda enjoy when I was a workaholic, no worries, those days are approaching, but it feels like ISH! Why I have to grow up? Why can’t I be your baby princess for my lifetime, dad? Since I’m the youngest >.<

Enough crapping! Enough KL outings, it’s time to go home, next stop, Penang! But, where to go? Who to find? It’s ok, I just miss my home and dogs. Maybe I should blog about Europe trip before I forget everything and blog whatever shit I feel like when I am really free.

Lastly, pray hard that I don’t see shit in Penang! I don’t want to ruin my mood and escape back to KL, tiring!

Stupid! 9 months d! Everthing still very clear in my mind, everything become more details day by day. Every months around that time, you definitely appear in my dream! And EVERYTIME I still hope it isn't a dream. Can't you just leave me alone? I hate u! I should! Tatata bala tui! U idiot! Just don't ever appear in my life! I HATE YOU! I hope I can hate u like how much I love you...