Time flies

Today is 16th December. I got 4 more days to reach my exam, 7 days to leave my dreamy room and 8 days to meet my love <3. Okay, just like what you seeing, I am totally in a stress-free situation. No No, a pretending to be stress-free situation. What am I talking about? Okay, Shut up!

Since I start my degree, my blog has become a place I will think of when I get hurt or when I am too boring, how pathetic it is...

Today I am here, because...okay,as usual, I am too boring and the essays are killing me. I was actually thinking about my essays, but after a few mins, mind turns to think about food, then Penang, then home,then people, then shopping mall... The moment I was back to reality, it's already 40 mins later. HOW GREAT!! Give myself a little rest to crap at here would probably clear my mind and a little getaway from those stupid essays.

I am so gonna play hard and do hard when I back to Penang. OH! not to forget EAT hard! 2 courseworks have to finish and pass up during early January, my BPTC application forms, My HO HO HO Merry Christmas and HA HA HA Happy New Year and my Gong Xi Fa Cai!!! Okay, too far...

Enough crap for today I think...

I thought of writing down some memories in Oxford as well as London and of course Scotland. But, I am too lazy my dear. Plus, NOW everyone got Facebook, look at the photos is better than your crap in the blog, what a great excuse for myself!!

Will decide again someday later, maybe a day when I am EXTREMELY ABSOLUTELY bored?? Probably.

Whatever~ this blog is just a link that I wanted to refer back my life when I get old. No ones care ><

To the future Ming, YES! You are really seriously boring and have to crap all these to make your life a little bit more interesting at this moment! 2011.12.16 20:53 UK time... during ur peak time (not to forget). PLEASE!don't slap your own forehead when u read back and please don't show it to ur children or grandchildren... SO SIA SUI!!

朋友？

第几次了，到底要受多少次教训你才懂得?

别那么容易相信人

不管他说多相信你，多感激你

最后还是会被出卖的

别傻了

天真已经不存在了

大家只会觉得你单蠢

别再相信人了好吗?

那种痛，你受不起的。。。

听话了，不要了

还有，要学习如何笑

多痛都得笑，笑了就好了

要相信，自己很幸福，要笑

原来女生是用水做的

I am fine

I am fine. I really do. I just feel cold when night comes, feel insecure when fear hits and feel helpless when I am alone. I am fine. I can smile to everyone and myself on the mirror, I can even smile in my diary, and I am fine. =]

I used to think the power of my imagination is great, I mean strong. I can imagine anything to make myself calm and warm. I can imagine my family was watching the series with me when I was watching drama alone, I can even imagine you are right beside me when I was walking alone in the dark. Indeed, it makes me strong and independent as my friends have seen. But, today I realised, when I really feel alone in the cold, my imagination only helps me towards a bad way, I tried to imagine something good is gonna happen or a bright future, but all I had is bad dream.

Now I know, dreams change when your mood changes. And it changes when you get mature. It become strong when your naive gone.

There is always rainbow after the rain. Don’t worry my dear, just being unhappy, I will be fine when the sun rise on the next day ^^ I know I will.

Over d?

It's kinda fast...

bakka

自己犯贱要交的朋友，没人帮得到

说过不为他们哭，又哭了，真笨

但谢谢peng peng成为我诉苦的对象

借我她的肩膀

终于找到一点温暖 =]

外婆，阿姨

亲爱的外婆，我想你了，亲爱的二姨，我也想你了，比想象中还要想念你们。听到你们的声音，眼泪就不知觉，掉了。好想念你们。想告诉你们我有多不开心，我有多不适应，我有多不想成为朋友的夹心饼干，但听到你们担心的语气，自己还是忍了下来，我好想念你们，想念抱着外婆撒娇的日子。你们问我功课难吗？是难的，但我不想让你们失望，我多想告诉你们，我很不喜欢没有你们在身边的日子，我好想你们

好笨

以为自己长大了，就不会那么天真了，但...还是被骗了

以前是好友，现在是同学

大家都知道我好骗吧

但在全班面前揭穿，好玩吗？

"ohh... so huaiming..." 这句话是什么意思？

真的那么无知吗我？

全场人在笑的同时，谁发现我的无奈苦笑了

说过不再为你们哭了

我真的没哭，因为你们不值得

以为自己比以前多疑，比以前不信任人

甚至比以前会看人的心机了

但还是会忍不住相信人

你们知道吗？

我只是不想怀疑每个人说的每一句话

想想如果你在说着真话时没人相信

你寂寞吗？伤心难过吗？

无所谓了，我应该又会筑起那道墙了

这只勾起被好友欺骗的回忆

心痛的感觉，我最不想要感受的感觉

无所谓，我就是这么的笨

昨晚有想过要改变自己

但清楚知道，自己再怎么努力都学不来

那种社会的生存法则，也耍不起心机

算了吧，不应该为了人而改变的

至少做自己，我是活得开心充实的

在这天寒地冻的环境里

突然感觉自己好像一只蚂蚁

想要在这里找到可以给我一点点幸福感觉的东西

即使不是属于我的

传染给我，让我替他感受一点点的甜蜜

我就满足了

生活其实好累

从来没有停过往前冲的感觉

难道我就不能停一停

读书好累

我好累

我需要的幸福

有人能轻轻将你抱起的感觉真好

看着路边的情侣

眼中只有彼此的瞬间

自己也能感觉到他们的幸福

真好 ^^

想念你又能怎样

或许我真的不用想太多

一个人

就好

一个人的幸福

比什么都好

至少

我痛得少 ^^

a little crazy moment

Yesterday, after the potluck, suddenly felt the "braveness" and I wrote a letter. I sent it out before I finish my "braveness". Then, I go to bed. Unfortunately, I had a bad dream, this cause me woke up early in the morning and started to think if I was doing the right thing...

After a few minutes, I started to regret, why am I rushing? I asked my friends should I just delete it before he receives it when he online, everyone asks me to wait for his respond. One of my bff said :" just ask yourself, will you regret after you delete it?"

After a second, my answer is "yes, I will. and I definitely don't have the courage to send it again..."

Since I am still in UK, this makes me opportunity to escape the awkward for 10 months, so ... some crazy thing has to be done when you're still young right? ^^ I am still waiting... good or bad... no hurt no disappointing.. just wanna you to know that ... ILU

不哭，永远不知自己是 ... 脆弱的

我 ... 又哭了

想家，想人，想朋友

更想你了

我 ... 说过不在人面前哭的

我 ... 可以的

明天我 ... 不会哭的

我 ... 现在还是哭了

Calm

don't be so greedy my dear

you know HE had help you for the coincidents

you are not going to ask for more

your greedy will make you now

and nevertheless trouble him

remember?

you are adult-to-be

stop acting like a childish innocent lady

you are not

and you are not going to be one of them.

幻想

突然发觉幻想不是一件坏事，至少可以满足我小小的虚荣心，或小小的愿望，还有还有。。。小小的童话式爱情

很多人也许不削王子与公主般的爱情，但我很相信，有一天，我最喜欢的王子会牵起我的手，对我说 “我爱你”

最近爱上“芭比公主”系列的童话故事，还是很老套很幼稚，但，我就是喜欢。

幻想能满足很多现实生活里不能满足东西，如果有机会，当然一定要尝试，但如果知道没机会了，想想也不错啊，至少自己满足了，别人又不会受伤害，更不用怕困扰道他

想想，我也开心。