A wonderful crap

People say, if you feel that you are pathetic, then others would see you in this way as well. So, I always make myself in a happy mode, even when I need a shoulder. I used to feel very happy when my friends told me that I'm always feeling happy because I felt that, hmm, I'm such a good actress. I somehow used to pretend to be the person that I created few years ago. You wear the mask almost all the time, one day, when you leave it down, you realise that your true face is nothing different than the mask anymore. It might sounds silly but it's true.

I thought I'm independent, since my family made me to be one; I thought I'm strong, since my parents want me to be; I thought I'm cold-blooded enough, since my brothers trained me to be; I thought wasn't afraid of anything, since my friends are all the brave one. Finally, I realised, thinking is just a way to force myself. Force myself to be independent, force myself to be happy, to be strong, cold-blooded, brave and so on, so on.

I miss the time when my family protect me like a fragile baby, although they are a bit extreme ><, but I do miss that time. Actually, if I'm still studying in Penang now, they will still treat me like this, but I know it's time to let myself grow. It's time to learn to survive in this cruel society before I fall.

I'm very selfish. For me, nothing is important than family and my own future. I'm very stubborn as well, if I wish to get that thing, I will get it no matter how long it can takes. My life is very smooth compared to other members in my family. I always got what I wanted, even it's really expensive stuff. I miss the time my brothers used to say they hate me because my parents treated me like a princess and I treated them like a servant ^^. I know they love me more than everything, even they are not literally a good person.

I used to feel so stress when my dad told me I'm his only hope. Although I never really try hard on studies, I still feel stress when he told me that. Forgot since when, I already used to the stress and used to put the stress on my shoulders. I still won't study hard like those nerds, but I will put my aim above my level and achieve it in a last-minute way. It's pretty hurt when I wouldn't got it. But, I won't give up. I'm more stubborn than you know I am.

Ah! It's nice to crap when you are not really in mood and got nothing much to blog, or I shall say, lazy to blog. Friends here are different and I prefer the way I live in Penang. Everything seems so nice and innocent. I want a peaceful life and a lovely family as well as a bunch of wonderful friends that will accompany you gone crazy or have a wild night when you really need some surprise in your boring life. Of course, a lovely caring wonderful cute handsome best boyfriend ^^. Don't worry, I will not leave you behind, and actually, I have counted you as my family. You might not get to participate my past but I assure you that you are participating in all my future plan. I hope I got the same reward from you as well ><.

My conclusion is ... I am HOME SICK now

好累好累
好爱好爱
还是好讨厌心快窒息的感觉
为什么就不停止跳动呢？
这样会好些吧？

好累好累
可是还是
好爱好爱。。。你

My precious

Been worrying the whole night since I got the message from dad. Although dad told me u guys are fine but I am really worry. The whole car condemned, and I really grateful that u guys are fine. Ce, skype with me to prove u r fine please, I know dad used to lie on me on things that would bring me down.Qin must be freaked out and crying non-stop I bet. I can see Nee is okay but looks tiring, you guys are awesome! SHERO in my heart!

How I wish my flight is tonight and I can fly back to you guys after 17 hours! I miss u...*hugs*

Luckily u r ok! Ce, I am so gonna hug u and squeeze ur fat! muakz

Time flies

Today is 16th December. I got 4 more days to reach my exam, 7 days to leave my dreamy room and 8 days to meet my love <3. Okay, just like what you seeing, I am totally in a stress-free situation. No No, a pretending to be stress-free situation. What am I talking about? Okay, Shut up!

Since I start my degree, my blog has become a place I will think of when I get hurt or when I am too boring, how pathetic it is...

Today I am here, because...okay,as usual, I am too boring and the essays are killing me. I was actually thinking about my essays, but after a few mins, mind turns to think about food, then Penang, then home,then people, then shopping mall... The moment I was back to reality, it's already 40 mins later. HOW GREAT!! Give myself a little rest to crap at here would probably clear my mind and a little getaway from those stupid essays.

I am so gonna play hard and do hard when I back to Penang. OH! not to forget EAT hard! 2 courseworks have to finish and pass up during early January, my BPTC application forms, My HO HO HO Merry Christmas and HA HA HA Happy New Year and my Gong Xi Fa Cai!!! Okay, too far...

Enough crap for today I think...

I thought of writing down some memories in Oxford as well as London and of course Scotland. But, I am too lazy my dear. Plus, NOW everyone got Facebook, look at the photos is better than your crap in the blog, what a great excuse for myself!!

Will decide again someday later, maybe a day when I am EXTREMELY ABSOLUTELY bored?? Probably.

Whatever~ this blog is just a link that I wanted to refer back my life when I get old. No ones care ><

To the future Ming, YES! You are really seriously boring and have to crap all these to make your life a little bit more interesting at this moment! 2011.12.16 20:53 UK time... during ur peak time (not to forget). PLEASE!don't slap your own forehead when u read back and please don't show it to ur children or grandchildren... SO SIA SUI!!

The smile you give me =)

I already used to the life that you greet me morning and good night before I go to bed and I greet you good night and sweet dream when I am going to have my dinner. First thing I do in the morning is read your line messages and the last thing I do before I go to dreamland is sending you a good night kiss. I don't dare to be too happy, I scare the angels will jealous and cut down my happiness but I can't control myself for smiling around like an idiot when I was thinking of you. =)

I should be in a very stress situation now, 2 courseworks due in 2 weeks time and an exam coming on next month. But, All I thought of this few days were my short "vacation" back to Penang. A sweet date with my family, friends and of course you <3. Like I told you, Although my ALM due date is tomorrow, opps, today, and I still left 2k words to go, but all I was thinking is you.

I <3 you

and don't worry, last minute is like my maxim, as long as I don't start my courseworks few hours before due, I am not in rush at all ^^ so, dad won't scold you because I will never get bad result due to that. *cross fingers*

朋友？

第几次了，到底要受多少次教训你才懂得?

别那么容易相信人

不管他说多相信你，多感激你

最后还是会被出卖的

别傻了

天真已经不存在了

大家只会觉得你单蠢

别再相信人了好吗?

那种痛，你受不起的。。。

听话了，不要了

还有，要学习如何笑

多痛都得笑，笑了就好了

要相信，自己很幸福，要笑

LoV3 this matter

This quote is definitely no wrong in anyway. But if you use it in an extreme way, troubles are the matters.

Friend's relationship is in trouble and I feel so sad that even she told me everything but I couldn't help. Love and relationship might be involved many other people but the solution will only come out from the couple, others can't help.

Despite the solution, what they need is to stick to what they have planned. Someone once told me - - When you lost, please think back what make you start at the beginning, this will lead you to success. There is another useful quote I saw in FB - - Everything will be fine in the end, if it isn't, it is not the end.

I believe everything will be fine someday somehow, and I know this is hard, but drag is really not a good thing, it makes thing worse and cause more harm to more people and eventually yourself. So yup, be happy and live longer my dear ^^

You would sort it out, and I know it is hard at the beginning but it's really time to put an end. Please give yourself a better future instead of a complicated and messy one.