累瘫了

Ooi Huai Ming

I know this moth is hard for you

but

take out your stubborn spirit

believe that there is always sunshine

after the rain

so GAMBATTE!!

Luck will arrive when you believe it

=)

Life is hard

but we still have to move on

think a lot these day

why I chose this as my subject

start to blame myself

for randomly pick

however

think deeply

since you already chosen it

despite how you did

you should move on

enjoy it

make it interesting in your life

then you will make life easier

since you have to walk alone in the future

why not make your future stick on you

at least we won't die without anyone

NEVER REGRET what you chose

the key to make life easy ^^

Life is too stress while waiting the exam to arrive on you

so ... let's escape this reality from this town for 2 days 1 night

gonna meet the prettiest couple ever in my life in few hours time ><

*excited as you do*

Totally no idea what I have studied!

I tried my best to focus but still ...

bad dreams come again,

every single night,

people chasing me,

drowning into water,

someone betray me,

uh, what else?

those mean stress comes back to me

although normally I don't feel any stress

people feel I am always stress-less

even me myself feel that too

but in fact,

I just didn't realise they are exist

deep in my body

I think I am normal ...

"people in town with lots of stress"

yea, my new label~ ^^

*hugsssssssssss*

LOVE my current blog

the music makes me feel

relax and peace

maybe it is the way I need

relax in my little world and

escape from reality

hmmm...

I wonder my friends feel the same?

relax in here

listen the music

even though u ignore my posts ^^

this world is just too much stress

and we need the RELAX

HATE that I'm still in love with you

*after 1 and a half year*

My Healthy Timetable

7am welcome the sunshine & dress up

8am college

3pm back from college & take an hour nap

4pm wake up from nap & shower

4.30pm study

6.30pm dinner

7.30pm fb, mail & series

8.30pm shower & relax

9.15pm study

10.30pm SLEEP!

There is changes on Wednesday and weekend

but not the study part

*hope so*

YEAY! Let's get healthy as this Moo Moo!

and hardworking as well

although it doesn't LOOK like hardworking...

but in fact may be IT IS!

YES! After gossip girl and 90210,

This is the series I start on

I know I shouldn't start any series anymore

since the exam is less than 1 month

but ... I can't control myself

I just simply love movies and series ^^

BTW,

Elena is so beautiful

look into her eyes is like everything could happen

just simply gorgeous!

*better than bella, agree? =P

no offence

since there's no good man

maybe I should love vampire instead of human?

of course the good vampire like Stefan

Damon is handsome but he will bite me

so NO! ^^

No more angel

It's 12.39am in the late or may be early of the day

I am tired and yet

I am having an insomnia

Thinking what am I doing and why I am doing that

I alway do something that obviously I will regret immediately

even I don't wish to

Tonight, all the way back from PJ

I did something really bad to someone on the spot I viewed my home in fb

I didn't consider any second and I just press that never reverse button

and now

I think I should give myself an answer

stop my heart from asking it

Ming! Is time to face the reality

u aren't that strong

u can't beg this weight of burden

so

stop pretend or try to be an innocent angel in front of people

which u aren't

accept the fact that u had the wrong decision

since someone is doing something against u and make u dislike

since someone doesn't need ur concern

since the someone try to make u ignore him or hated him

just go ahead

let's the feeling flows

the someone is ought to have his freedom and stop seeing u as the headache stone

therefore

u might STOP pretending the little angel that believe there is still friendship

be a real person ming

be a REAL u

let's release the feeling that tied in ur heart

no more angel

neither devil

I am seriously tired

I tried my best

It turns out to be like this

so, follow it

give me a week

I will become a total stranger in front of u

for the rest of ur life

as u wished

Poem

This is a poem I saw in the book my boss given to me:

I wish I were ... ...

Big enough, honestly, to admit all my shortcomings;

Brilliant enough to accept praise without making it arrogant;

Tall enough to tower above deceit;

Strong enough to welcome criticism;

Compassionate enough to understand human frailties;

Wise enough to recognize mistakes;

Humble enough to appreciate greatness;

Staunch enough to stand by friends;

Human enough to be thoughtful of neighbors;

And righteous enough to be devoted to the love of Buddha.

People who understand me know that I would not tears in front of others.

Once I tears, that's it, we are in the end of the story.

While I was driving alone at 9 something in the night,

I was thinking about the pain I suffered.

Why I am the one who get hurt by you

Even I tried my best to compensate the wound I caused to u.

I was thinking to hurt u back

as I am a scorpion

I wanted u to know that if I decide to fight

I will more cruel than u thought I am

because I am deemed to be a scorpion

without love, left hates

However,

I looked back to the sentences I prepared for exhibition

realised that that was all about karma

I am the one who wound u

because u owed me before

I am the one who get hurt by u

because I owed u more

so, let's just stop

I know we are not suitable to each other anymore

I know u understand it before than me just u couldn't accept

let's just use our own power to stop this karma turning around

controlling us to be sad

smile or frown, are just an action

why not we smile and become friends

since we all are born for waiting the death

let's just enjoy before we go to another next time

I do appreciate all of us

I do appreciate what have u changed me

Be, for the last time

I love you

I am here to say 'goodbye' to our love

and say 'hi' to our friendship

because I know that

being persistent will waste our time

and of course our life

and lastly

Thank you for bringing me to Buddhist World

I will spread what I learnt to the World

THE WORST DAY EVER!!!

The only word that CAN appear in my mind is

FUCK!!!!

Yup!!

We are BACK to college

It's mean we are going to study, play, eat and sleep again XD

This term our class added in another class, which mean

our class become march and august 2009 intake plus january 2010 intake

Oh, god!!

As what lecturer said, it is a BIG class

The whole year intake students are in this class! *crazy*

Anyway, gonna start to take it serious!

Can't rely on luck every time when you don't know when the luck might leave you =P

So, Gambatte Ming!!

As dad said,

"There's no impossible to Penang's people!!"

Yesterday was fun, n should storage this day in my mind and blog of course. But, I am LAZY!!

So, watch this =)

Do enjoy XD

Today is a BIG day~

What is that?

My Be's birthday?? Just passed month ago

My birthday? You have to wait my dear~

Graduated?? Errr, few more years

Become a lawyer? Idiot!! You not even graduate!!

Then what???

Is ...

...

...

...

Of course is my dearest buddy, old friends, classmates, schoolmates, girl, girlfriend, best friends, friends and whatever names of the love relationship that you can think, Ree Lee the King'S 20th BIRTHDAY!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DEAR!!!!

REAL HOLIDAYS ARRIVED!!!

3

2

1

BOO!!!

to meet you ♥

Addicted to it!!!!

Mommy's tumor operation

my mom had an tumor operation the past Friday.

when I reached GMC hospital, I was late, so I couldn't talk to her before she went in.

My dad and I were waiting outside the operation room.

After 2 hours, my dad had to work but my mom still haven't come out.

So, I waited outside the room alone.

Look forward the corridor, my mom was in there,

just behind the door, but I can't see her,

the feeling of fear suddenly appear,

I scare

I scare I lost her and I scare I not able to talk to her.

Listening music and waiting alone,

every time had bed been pulled out from tat door,

I ran quickly there,

but is not my mom.

After 2 hours, finally I saw my mom been pulled out from that room,

she smiled to me with energy-less

I said,

"dad is coming"

and she smiled again then slept back.

Thanks Buddha!!

The feeling for waiting alone outside the operation room isn't good!!

I hope it will not happen to me again,

ill please get away from my family, friends and love one!!

My Be Big Day!!

I wrote this weeks ago ^^

02.07.2010

Actually I expected to drive down PJ alone although I did dream that there are possibility someone suddenly appear to accompany me, such like Reelee; may be she suddenly come back? Okay, impossible. However, I don’t expect I will receive a message at the night before I drove down PJ from Miss Cassandra Tan Wei Yuen who just came back from Australia saying that she’s going to follow my car to KL instead of her cousin’s car for a purpose of visit to an exhibition.

Did some catch up with her along the journey, and we reach my Be’s house at 2.30pm, hmmm, I used 4 hours to reach PJ. Play with Sean Boy while waiting my Be to prepare himself and then we start our discovery to Setapak hunt for Reelee the King.

Usually people used half an hour to reach Setapak from Kepong. The greatest us used 1 and a half hour *clap clap, bravo*, at least my Be learnt some new road. We reach Shuphooi before we met Reelee. Visit her house, know a friend, Robin who also one of my housemate’s friend, then we decided to hunt for food before Kim Sheng, Lee’s bf join us after his work. However, traffic jam makes us decided to wait Sheng at Dataran Merdeka until he finish his work. While waiting, we started my 80 cents game; although my Be don’t want to play with me, my friends seem excited to this game. Picked up him and continue with massive jam, we were laughing all the way, can’t believe it is the very first time they meet my Be, except Lee. Luckily is CRV not ViVa, that’s mean is auto, or else my Be’s leg …

Our plan is stop at my hostel, but we were extremely hungry so we chose to stop at Jaya One, Kimchiharu to have our dinner first. *yum yum* After dinner, another massive traffic jam and I received a call from Egg that inform me there’s nobody in my hostel so I can’t stay there at the particular night. So, we decided to go Desa Parkcity. We have so much fun there, play the so-called adult playground and climb here run there, remind us the time when we were still enjoy being a Rangers. Melody reach there by her own but she couldn’t find us in the park. So, I and Caca went to search for her, and we found her in 7-Eleven with hand phone charging by using the shop worker’s charger. > <>

Then, we played, shouted, and ran, climbed, flied and fainted. Headed to Curry House to have supper then Melody said she will take care of Caca and we sent the King couple back to their hostel. On the way back Be’s house, Dong! another day, the Big Day, so, pressie on Be’s hands. Lost again because Be wanted to try new road. Reach his house, sleep like pig, and dream like heaven.

*the pressie*

03.07.2010 *the BIG day* ^^

We both woke up at 10, his family already out for breakfast, didn’t meet them, felt sorry because didn’t greet them. Anyway, is Be’s Big Day and he wanted to celebrate with his bbf, Egg. Dress up, reach my hostel, dress up again, and then out to celebrate with Egg, Jyulia and Peng. First, KimGary as brunch, talked about something children not allowed then headed to their favourite place, RedBox. Enjoy singing with full of meal on the table, ate like pig and stomach like pregnant.

A delicious cake sent in and sang “Happy Birthday to You”. We couldn’t finish the meal at last so bungkuskannya. Then Daiso and MayBank, then hostel again because Peng said want to swim. Swim with Jyu, Peng and Be. Be still learning how to swim > <. Clean up (the happiest moment is when Be help me to dry up my hair *v*) then McD, meeting for KDUBSC and supper.

04.07.2010

Woke up quite late and wait Be to fetch me, going to back his hometown today. Heated up the meal we brought back yesterday as breakfast, then we headed to Ikea. I bought my mirror and curtain then we started our journey back to Gerik. Reach in the evening, went dinner with his parents after shower. Met his bff, JiaXin, who has tough attitude and beautiful eyes.

05.07.2010

Back Penang by using new road after breakfast with his father. His parents gave me 2 big fishes. Reach at noon; lost in Butterworth so at last we reach Penang Island by ferry, I can remember the last time I by ferry with car, I was just at the kindergarten’s age. Be wishes to visit ShuXuan but I was too pek chek, so we didn’t go down, just pass through, sorry Be, I know I acted like child. Reach my house; say hi to my Black and ChowChow. Drop my stuff, met my bro and sis in law while we going out. Found TuneHotel, check in, shower, then headed to Gurney to save our pity crying stomach. I forgot there’s no Winter Warmer in KL, so this is the very first time Be step in, happy that he loves it. Shop after lunch, I forced Be to buy T-shirts because I am freezing and I wanted to wear his long sleeve. Still early, so I brought Be to Paradise beach, watching people play those nice water game. Sent Be back to hotel to meet his friend after wander. Before I can reach my house, Be phoned and told me my IC is with him, drove back to take again. Then, home, dinner with family, Nitex.

*happy ^^*

06.07.2010

Woke up early and reach Be’s hotel at 6. Wait him to wake up. Planned to wake him up at 7.30am so that we can have our breakfast together, but is really a hard job to wake him up. He woke up at 8 and we left hotel after 20 minutes. I need to work at 9 so I straight away sent Be to Jetty and I rushed to 7-Eleven to buy my bread then work. Be reach Gerik at 12.

Boss's house warming

Opps, is my boss's house warming.

I bought a little lamp for him and my teacher too. I fixed the lamp myself!! *proud*

I also bought a mouse pad for the aunty, as farewell present, sorry to Ivan, the intern friend, I don't know what should I buy for you, so ... sorry~

Other than that, finally I found the mask that Be always begging for.

I bought 2, Be, which 1 u prefer?

I think the kitty's mouth suit u, cute what~

原来面对家庭问题，你真的很自私

我只是想你安慰我

一通电话很为难你

没关系

至少信息是安慰的语气

至少不是只为自己想

可是你一样也没做到

你要我怎样依靠你

我知道你很爱你的家人

你也希望我关心你的家人

那难道我的家人不是人吗？

不需要关心吗？

是你教我要很爱家人

是你教我家人是不能取代的

在自打嘴巴吗？

孤儿院的小孩你都关心

那是我的妈妈

他可能有生命危险

你却只想到自己

展览会

你真自私，真冷血

原来关心"朋友"的家人是可以免的!

我记住了

这一个月的分离，我真的有点不习惯，好寂寞，好没有安全感，生病的时间也加长了，Be说我们应该练习的，因为以后要分离的可是几个月，开始时我想这是对的，不然会很痛苦!

现在，我想这是不对的，既然过后要分开这么久，我们就不应该拿这些仅有剩下的时间来练习，浪费我们能相聚的时间，分开练习我们仅有能在一起的时间，不值得，很浪费!!

我们应该珍惜每一分每一秒能在一起，能相聚的时间，以后分开是痛苦，至少我们有很多很多美好的回忆，让我们的嘴角在哭泣时上扬啊!! 对不对Be?

所以，这一年我粘定你了，我要有很多很多美好的回忆让我在英国想念可爱的你，让我更爱你!!

怕以后会很痛苦? 就痛吧，我们自己选择要开始的，我们自己选择的路，的未来，自己选择为对方守候的，不是吗? 所以不能反悔! 反悔的是小狗~

不管怎样一定会痛的，不管我们现在有没有时常见，一定会一样痛的，因为我们相爱! 不痛就不爱了， 对不? 所以你要为我痛吗??

Blog I type last week~

Due to my laziness, the blogger me stop blogging for about few weeks, sorry, you know I am lazy right? >3<

There is nothing special during my so-called holidays at Penang. As I mentioned in last post, I am a new born OL. However, I am a weirdo among the OLs. I don’t like to make up although my firm may be needed me to do so. First week I was fully make up, including eyes, cheek and mouth. I seriously don’t like to do that, it makes me can’t rub my nose and eyes randomly. Second week, I start to skip eye shadow and blush, but still nothing different. Till the third week, I got sick, serious illness that caused me take few days MC to rest at home and unable to talk. When I get back to work, I just put eyeliner and mascara, the next day only mascara and today … … I put NOTHING. Yesterday my teacher asked me why my face so unhealthy, I told her because I am still sick and my boss used to ask me ‘are you ok?’ every afternoon after he woke up. Finally I have excuse to skip make up! I can tell them I make up, but my face still not in good condition. {Rule 1: Best lawyers are good in LIES!}

Let’s talk about my working environment. Actually this firm was in the middle of town and the building is considered as one of those old-fashion shop lots. Our firm at second floor and you will probably can’t find us if you not from Penang. Our firm not as huge as others but is warm and have everything a firm needed. In here, we have a old cute clock always use its ‘dong dong’ sound to warn me it’s time to work, wake up worm and to rush us in papers every 30 minutes. (I love to count the number of it’s “dong dong”, then I will know the time =D) My boss was a journalist before he became a lawyer, so in our office, there are lots of pictures about how’s Penang and Penang Courts looks. My boss loves to keep some wines and antiques too. My boss and teacher treated this firm as their own house; there are beds, sofa, television, stove and bla bla bla. There is a self-portrait of my boss at the wall in front of our tables, although he always hiding in his room but I always have the feeling that he’s watching us. Hmm, may be there is a CCTV on one of his eye, who’s know? Whatever, I love to work here.

Opps, forget to mention my ill. Actually I didn’t know the name, just something will grow in your throat if you getting weak. That’s all for my description of my illness. {Rule 2: SKIP what can skip and IGNORE what you lazy to think}

A little fighting while I was ill with my Be because of my floating mood, SORRY, I know you’re not feeling well too, but at least you didn’t kill me nor kick my ass =X

Summary for entertainment, I ate sushi king twice in this week since me and Be prefer to eat sakae sushi in PJ, so I m ok with it. No outing with friends since I was sick and lazy, but I did watch ‘Karate Kid’ with family, and it’s AWESOME but the girl not pretty~

Shopping with mommy after few years, and realized that she’s a serious shopaholic. So as you guess, she has a shopaholic daughter, that’s me =) I bought few working blouses and dress. Oh, clothes that I bought from website reach my home, cotton not as good as I expected but still acceptable, pattern a little bit changed but still acceptable BUT I think I won’t buy from it again {Rule 3: Lawyer’s words do not belief in 100 %, 99.9% perhaps?}

伤痕，伤痕，伤过必留痕

wound, scar, wound, scar, wound will leave scar.

NO! I am not emo, then how about this picture?

Okay, I captured it myself, from my shoulder, but what is it??

Is my beloved nephew, HE BITE ME!!!

PAIN!!

My first internship

The very first time I knew the feeling of being an OL (office lady). Everyday, woke up at 7, shower, dress up, make up and have breakfast. Went out from house at 8.15am sharp. A little jam at highway as usual and reach office at 8.45am. Start work at 8.50am of course. The first two days I felt tired,I guess is because of my eyes, as you know, I left only an eyes can see, so I felt dizzy and sleepy after work. But, I felt better at the third day, I think my eyes already used to it.

My job basically is helping my lawyer teacher to check some paper works, type & send some letters, arrange some files and of course make friend with Photostat machine, just like what a clerk did. However, me this clerk learnt lots from my lawyer teacher and lawyer boss as well as the Geng clerk aunty. Opps, not to forget an intern boy who work as part time. My boss seems like semi-retired but he is knowledgeable, he taught me some steps in being a lawyer and student as well which will be very useful in future. The lawyer teacher told me her experience and taught me to choose RIGHT people to help. The aunty more geng, she worked in law firm already 30 years, she didn't have any cert but she knew all the procedures in law and she also help clients make will. WOO!

My colleagues are nice and sweet, teacher teaches me everything she learnt, boss is strict and fierce to clients but is nice to us. Happy!! The time rush but useful, me tired but enjoy!! *Start forgetting what I've been done in this week*

Tomorrow is Wesak Day!! Day that Buddha born to this planet. My Be is busy for last few days to help his Buddhist club to decorate for this great big day.

Everyone is holiday tomorrow, include my Nee. Oh god, is time to take care her again due to my grandma is going to Siam for a trip.

Sooner or later I will follow my aunt who is sincere buddhist to pray, Nee will go along too. ><>