Worst day? Nah.. normal near negative only. Except I got threatened by a stranger asking for money, everything seems fine... okay, below fine but above worst.
I thought I am fine, when I don't think about it, when I keep it nicely in the bottom of my heart. But after chatting with my friend, he suggested me to face it and get through it. I was wondering am I able to be that brave? Should I try?
I just simply dig it out from my heart again within one day, and cry over and over again. Okay, admit that I am not that brave. Shouldn't have tried it. Keep it back again, nice and sincere. It's my precious, at least now it is.
Monday, I don't know it's because of Monday blue or ... my mood, can't do well, everything just messed up, get scolded again, like 99 type then continue did wrong. I don't feel like eating at noon, but dad was watching, okay, I finish the plate, big plate, then feeling sick. Luckily I controlled my throat, haha, didn't come out from my mouth, claps!
OT OT. haiz, driving jam, whatever! Passed through China house, brain stops. Laugh at myself, Who will remember this? We get lost when we first trial to China house, then I just simply point to a street, haha, it was there! and stupid things that we have done before we get to eat the delicious tiramisu and his weird snack plate. I wish I can't recall it as detail as I am doing now.
Friend said, the hardest thing to do is smile when you're sad. I used to do that. But, can't anymore.
Too much memories, too precious, too good. When I jogged, a lot of things stop by and said hi. But, I know, they will leave me soon, at that time, suddenly, I am really happy I can remember every details, I wish I will not forget it, because even him won't remember these. The images and everything, it's like my personal collections. I love him. But, I need to let go. I know, I really know, I just need time.
I was very lucky to meet him, to be loved. Just not that lucky for the life journey. It's ok, we learn and grow. So, now my love test... FAILED! Nvm, pray harder for my studies and career! I can't afford to lose again... FIGHT! to get a better life
Speaking nonsense to future me, Ming, you should read back and recall those memories in future ^^ It will be beautiful. Please success before you reach 30! You don't have a shoulder to rely on, so u must be tough and hardworking, nothing is impossible. You know best.
No comments:
Post a Comment